It is now 3 years since I had my MI (heart attack). My wife, Ann (an anesthesiologist), my two young daughters and myself had just returned from a 200 km road journey (through ghat roads) from Agartala (capital of Tripura) after a brief stopover at Ambassa, where we have a branch hospital. I was driving and tired. We went straight to the hospital were I did a neonatal colostomy (for anorectal malformation) and a Caesarean section. The baby took time to come out of anesthesia, so I left Ann to extubate the child and went home. I parked the vehicle (a Mahindra Bolero) in the garage and walked home in the dark. When I reached the bottom of the stairs to my home (there is a steep climb of about 40 feet), I found it very difficult to take a step forward. I tried shouting for help but no sound came out. I managed to crawl up all the steps and reach home where I sat on the floor. I told Hannah, our eldest daughter to call Ann. Ann thought that I was just tired. A little later, I vomited and started experiencing severe chest discomfort. Ann and other doctors came home and lifted me down in a blanket and took me to the hospital. An ECG confirmed an acute anterior wall MI. We did not have streptokinase in stock. Ann sedated me and called my classmate, Ravikannan at the Cachar Cancer Hospital in Silchar (120 kms away) and he brought the streptokinase. I had severe chest pain for a day. Ann managed me calmly (although she confesses to having some unease when she arranged the resuscitation tray with endotracheal tube at my bedside). In a few days, I was well enough to be wheeled around the hospital. All the staff, family and friends prayed for my recovery and took good care of me. I did an echocardiography on myself and found a poorly contracting heart with an ejection fraction of about 35% – I could not believe that it was my heart ! After about a week, one of the staff nurses had acute appendicitis and I managed to do the surgery from a wheelchair with the operating table lowered completely. Our obstetrician assisted me and closed the abdomen. I was then brought to the Christian Medical College at Vellore where I underwent angiography and stenting of my left anterior descending artery. I spent about a month at Vellore and Bangalore – there was no further change in my heart and we returned back to Makunda.
My father and some other close relatives had coronary heart disease and my father had died of an acute MI. Ann had taken me to a cardiologist a few months before my MI – all biochemical tests were normal and i was able to complete a full treadmill test without any signs of ischemia or discomfort. I had also started to exercise. I had no other risk factors (except family history). I was told (after my MI) that I had developed an acute coronary thrombosis.
After my return to Makunda, we found that I had to work as much as before my MI. There was no additional help, a lot of pending bills had accumulated and workloads had increased. I started tentatively at first but was soon doing as much surgery, ultrasound and other work as before. After an experience like this, every twinge in the chest is taken seriously (as you don’t want to have another one) ! I avoided long surgeries. Sometimes, I was forced to do some long surgeries. There was a patient with tracheo-esophageal fistula who would have died if I had not operated. There was a patient undergoing laparoscopic cholecystectomy who developed a biliary leak and I had to do a hepaticoduodenostomy. Since I knew that there was no one else to take over, I just took deep breaths and completed these and other such surgeries one stitch at a time. When I was tired, I had a bed put in the hospital where I could lie down for some time.
I was asked to walk 2 kms every day. I found this tiresome and took my daughters along. One day I noticed a tapping sound and found an unfamiliar woodpecker pecking on a dead bamboo stump (which was being used as a post for holding the volleyball net at the school). I photographed it and posted it on Flickr and it was identified as a relatively rare woodpecker (Stripe-breasted woodpecker – Dendrocopos atratus). I became very interested and started noticing all sorts of interesting birds and insects. I upgraded my equipment to a Nikon D300s with Sigma 150-500mm OS lens (from my old Nikon D70 with Nikkor AF 70-300mm lens) and also bought a 27″ iMac for editing the photographs. The equipment budget was passed by Ann under the head “Cardiac Rehabilitation Expenses” ! I found that observing, photographing and reporting these wildlife in the campus and surrounding areas was very relaxing and added new meaning to my walks.
I have been to cardiac reviews every year. I have not become any better ( the ejection fraction is still around 35% ) but I haven’t become any worse. I am able to do almost all the things I did before my MI. I cannot run or do anything which demands exertion. I am happy with my lot – it is God’s portion for me. We have to accept the whole package and cannot pick and choose the things that please us. It is also God’s way of telling us that He is sufficient and that in our weaknesses, we experience His strength. I have never questioned why I should experience this – in His infinite wisdom, God permitted it and that is enough. We need to trust God absolutely and in everything.
This experience has brought our family closer. We have realized the shortness and unpredictability of life. It also has made me look at everything with a greater heavenly perspective. We are citizens of the kingdom of heaven temporarily posted to this earth. We should not develop any deep roots here. The values of this world are temporary and not eternal. We should rather invest on those things that have eternal value – those things that find God’s approval. We should live for His approval – that the thoughts, plans and purposes of our hearts find His approval. This is our strength and that is sufficient.
Should my life be different ? I think I should just go on being the person He wants me to be. I am not perfect but will become more and more like Him. Our physical bodies degenerate with the passage of time but spiritually we become stronger as we experience His faithfulness and learn to trust and obey Him. When I was young, I did not want to commit my life into the hands of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I felt that this would lead to a loss of control over my life and I wanted to enjoy life in the way I wanted. Later, when I made the commitment, I knew it would be for life – a vow had been made like the one at the time Ann and me married – I will seek your will and follow it all the days of my life (in sickness or in health etc.). Many people advise me to take rest and relax. I find that doing the work that is pleasing in God’s sight brings the greatest rest and relaxation. Contentment and happiness are the rewards of obedience. Strength and health are given as the need arises. I spent several years after my undergraduate days spending time with young Christians, challenging them to find the same fulfillment that comes only by walking in God’s path, holding His hand. After joining Makunda, this became difficult as work took a lot of time. I think that I may again be able to do this as more time becomes available. I find that even if I don’t physically travel to other places, I can still communicate with people over the internet. I look forward to whatever God has in store in the days to come. My ambition is to live a life pleasing to Him when on this world and to be welcomed back as a servant who has completed the task given to him when I go to be with God in heaven.
The Sparrow's Nest 